the almost graduate

I will be graduating in less than three days. I will be concluding my high school education and moving into a new state, a new city, away from my family and friends, to begin a new phase of my life. This is momentous! Then why do I not feel its weight?

Perhaps it is because I still have two finals and a graduation speech to begin and complete. Or perhaps it is because I am ready. I have prepared myself for this transition for years and years, and now that it is upon me, it is well-rehearsed and familiar to me.

But more than anything else, I am ready to graduate because I know that God will be with me no matter where I live or how old I am or what challenges I face. That much will stay the same, though everything else changes. And I take great comfort in that fact. It will be hard to say goodbye to my hometown and all the dear people who live here, but I can cling to a God who never changes, and whose awesome plans for my life are still the same. That is an exciting thought!

prince caspian

Last night I went to see Prince Caspian with my family. My dad thought the prince needed a haircut (I thought his hair was beautiful), but other than that we all agreed that it was a very very good movie. The location and scenery were absolutely breathtaking, and the filming was very well done. It was a thoroughly enjoyable movie... except for one part at the beginning. On a black screen, white words told us that the film was based on the novel by C.S. Lewis. This movie was based about as much on Prince Caspian as O Brother Where Art Thou was based on the Odyssey. The movie was excellent, yes, but it did not do justice to C.S. Lewis.

If I hadn't taken so many wonderful literature classes, including a short class on Lewis himself, I would probably have been content. But there are so many themes and ideas that did not come through in the movie, and (it's been a long time since I've read those books, but I think) they added a few things that made it more interesting, but changed the whole mood of the story. So for now, I've disconnected the movie and the book in my mind. I intend to reread all the Chronicles of Narnia this summer, so hopefully I can enjoy Narnia thoroughly then, in all its original glory.

birch swinging

Today I was feeling extremely overwhelmed by my thesis project, due tomorrow. In fact, I should be sleeping and getting rested up for it instead of blogging. Hmmm...

Anyway, I found myself computerless this evening and decided to head outside to get some non-computer homework done. As I sat under the willows in my backyard, contemplating Gerard Manley Hopkins, I fell to meditation and prayer. Usually a good thing, especially when you are overwhelmed by things like theses. Anyway, I was lying on my back looking up at the tiny green leaves and the bright blue sky, and I decided to climb a tree (get closer to nature and experience God better, or something like that. Just joking, Mr K, I know better than that...).

I kicked off my flip flops and started climbing. Barefoot. A willow tree. Willows are terrible for climbing, and I nearly broke my neck once, when the branch I was clinging to suddenly broke off. Fortunately a scratched elbow and racing heart were the only consequences. When I finally got as high as I safely (ha!) could, I perched on a solid branch and looked around. I stayed up there a little longer than necessary because I was terrified to head back down. Eventually I got a little uncomfortable, and the wind started blowing. Willows aren't very stable in the wind, and I don't like swaying that far above the ground. I am convinced I didn't breathe the entire way down that tree, a distance of about three times my height. When I got down I wobbled across the yard and into my house, then ate a piece of toast, because I firmly believe that toast always tastes better after a near-death experience.

montana weather

As all of you know, it is May 10. Also, as all of you know, it snowed most of yesterday. Ah, the joys of springtime in Montana!

Anyway, every time it snows, I am reminded of one of my favorite Calvin and Hobbes:



Someday, I'll do this to a dear friend who needs a reason to laugh. =)

building on who I am

As a part of our spiritual gifts study, which I talked about in my last post, we also examined our passions and personal styles. From this, I learned that I have a passion for people, but within structured, defined relationships. Now all of these things about myself are things that I have become more and more aware of over the past few years, and my growing realization of who I am as an individual led me to suddenly decide on a major a couple of months ago.

Cascade only offers 12 or so majors, so I didn't have a lot of options to begin with, but as I looked at that list of majors, I knew that I wanted to pursue a degree in psychology, with a possible minor in biblical studies. From there, I want to complete the graduate work necessary to become a Christian counselor. I actually decided all of this out loud, in a conversation with my dad, and he immediately agreed that these subjects seemed perfect for me.

As I think about it more and more, pursuing biblical counseling is not even training for a job in my mind. It is actually more like completing who I am meant to be, or in other words, pursuing my telos. Of course I know that statistically I am expected to change my major three or four times, at the very least, but after prayer and pondering and confirmation of friends and family, I feel certain that this is what God is calling me to pursue.

I have to stop here for now, because even as God is calling me to pursue biblical counseling, my mother is calling me to clean my room and the sewing room, which I must admit, is a bit of a disaster after my hasty dressmaking of late.

finding out who I am...

Recently my youth group completed a course in which we identified some potential spiritual gifts: things we were good at, enjoyed, and areas in which we could serve the church particularly well. Though some gifts are special talents that God has given us, sometimes they are a certain trait that has been particularly developed by certain circumstances in our lives. Also, we learned that every Christian is called to demonstrate all spiritual gifts, though they will be especially good at one or two in particular. That being said, I wanted to share my personal results and see if you all had observed the same in me, or didn't think they fit me at all, or whatever.

My most prominent result was prophecy... I was a little afraid to see this come out on top. But here is how our book defines this gift. "The gift of Prophecy is the divine enablement to reveal truth and proclaim it in a timely and relevant manner for understanding, correction, repentance, or edification." The next was encouragement: "the divine enablement to present truth so as to strengthen, comfort, or urge to action those who are discouraged or wavering in their faith." My third result, which was actually tied with the one above, was mercy: "the divine enablement to cheerfully and practically help those who are suffering or are in need."

As part of this process, we were required to ask for others' opinions. A gift which I didn't even consider significant showed up on every single observation. It was the gift of knowledge: the divine enablement to bring truth to the body through a revelation or biblical insight."

So now I want to know what you all think. Do these attributes characterize me? I really don't feel that I have mastered any of them at all, but have you seen them in my life, and in my interaction with you? I would love to hear your opinion, so please comment lots on this post!