words to know: 2010

We interrupt this ridiculous month-long silence for a word from your author.

Here we are, three months into 2010. By now you should have had ample time to settle into the new order of things, so I will ask: is there anything lacking? Perhaps your bland new year needs to be peppered with a supplemental vocabulary. Allow me to advance a few suggestions.

Huzzah! interjection. This is a particularly rousing little word that is perfect for any of your exclamatory uses. I recommend it in near-idiotic amounts. For example. "Huzzah! They have feta cheese in the salad bar today!" In any setting in which you feel elation, however inappropriate, a resounding "Huzzah!" may just be in order.

Shenaniganizing. perversion. Acting in a devious or mischievous manner. While the more traditional shenanigan is rather satisfying, nothing is quite so fulfilling as shouting, "Hey, you! Stop that shenaniganizing right this instant. You hooligan." Hooligan is another word to know in 2010, and can be quite tastefully paired with shenaniganizing.

Rapscallion. noun. A mean, unprincipled, dishonest, or mischievous person. This is a quite refreshing alternative, lest in your zeal you overuse the word hooligan.

Swashbuckling. adjective. Characteristic of a blustering daredevil. Example: "My, what a swashbuckling purse you are holding today." Just kidding. Example: "Where have I been? I have been off on a thousand swashbuckling adventures--rescuing fair maidens from plundering, pillaging, ravishing monsters. Yes."

Bandicoot. noun. By a unanimous vote, it has been decided that this word is far less enthralling once the definition is known. All the knowledge necessary is that bandicoot is best used with words like crazed, cavort, and half. For example, "If you need me, I'll be out in the back yard, cavorting around like a half-crazed bandicoot." Or, alternately: "Oh my, your bicep is straining at your shirt like a wild bandicoot!"

Bazinga. interjection. Best pronounced in a calm voice, with a strong emphasis on the penultimate syllable and an alarming smirk, this exclamation lets someone know that they have been had. "Bazinga." I may or may not have borrowed this from a TV show, but it has certainly become an essential part of my vocabulary.

There you go. These are the words that may make all the difference for you in this newish year. Why should you bother using these obscure English oddities? Because it's fun. And because it's what all the cool kids are doing.

Until I have more serious things to post....